- Fictional Hangover
- Oct 12
- 6 min read
Bunnicula by Deborah Howe and James Howe
Podcasters’ note from the Editor's note. The book the following summary is based upon is a true and accurate transcription of the events that took place in the “Monroe” family home. The home consists of Mr. and Mrs. “Monroe,” their two children, Toby, age eight, and Pete, age ten, their cat Chester and the author of the tale, Harold, whose full-time occupation is dog.
Harold recalls the time the abomination was brought home. The Monroes had been to the cinema one dark and stormy night. The front door flew open on their return as lightning flashed behind them. Mr. Monroe was carrying a little bundle. After much kerfuffling with coats and the like, the situation was finally explained to Harold. Toby found something on his seat at the movies so they brought it home. It is a white rabbit with black markings.
The rabbit has a piece of paper tied around its neck with ribbon, the language totally unfamiliar to the Monroes but, because of Harold’s diverse ancestry, he recognizes it as an obscure dialect of the Carpathian Mountain region. Roughly translated, the note reads, "Take good care of my baby." More kerfuffling takes place as the boys find the bunny a box to sleep in and decide on a name. Since they went to see Dracula and the creature is a bunny, they decide on Bunnicula.
Every night, Chester selects a book from the shelf and curls up in his favorite chair to read. Harold notes this has helped his friend develop a very vivid imagination. This dark and stormy night, Chester chooses The Fall of the House of Usher. As Chester is reading, he notes how eerily still the house has become. A cold chill goes down his spine and he is compelled by an unknown force to look at the rabbit. The black markings on the white rabbit make it look as if he is wearing a cape. There is an unearthly aura about him. But then the rabbit smiles revealing two little pointed fangs.
The next few days are uneventful. Harold is very bored. Bunnicula sleeps all day and Chester is curious about what he saw that first night. Harold confronts a bleary-eyed Chester who exclaims that the rabbit is a danger to the household and everyone in it. Chester refuses to say more, and things continue this way for a few more days until Chester reports that the bunny escaped its cage, without opening the door or breaking anything! After a strange incident involving the big clock in the hallway with the pendulum and losing forty-five minutes of time watching it move back and forth, Chester finds the bunny in the kitchen and the next morning, Mr. Monroe finds a white tomato in the fridge!
When Mrs. Monroe cut into the strange fruit, she found it dry - completely missing all its juice. This is very significant. Chester also saw suspicious marks on the tomato’s skin that looked like teeth marks. Tonight, Chester will reread The Mark of the Vampire and instructs Harold to meet him that night, and to make sure he’s had a nap.
Harold almost misses the meeting with Chester because there were good snacks in Toby’s room. After some maneuvering, both Harold and Chester manage to sit on Chester’s chair. Chester then lays out the facts as he sees them: the white tomato was drained of its juice, Bunnicula sleeps all day, has little sharp teeth, can get out of his cage, and was found with a note written in a Carpathian mountain regional dialect - an area of Transylvania. The rabbit is a vampire! Just then, they hear a noise in the kitchen. They don’t find Bunnicula, but they do find a white zucchini.
The next morning, Mrs. Monroe’s screaming wakes Harold and Chester. She's found more of Bunnicula’s victims - beans, peas, squash, tomatoes, lettuce and zucchini - all white. The humans think it’s some sort of strange blight while Chester, however, takes it upon himself to sort out their “vampire problem.” This involves him donning Mr. Monroe’s shaving towel as a cape, flopping around, hissing, baring his teeth, and biting Harold. Harold is confused and the Monroes think he got into the brandy again and is cold, but Chester thinks he’s doing a reasonably good impression of a vampire and thus warning the household. It does not work.
Later that afternoon, after Chester has sulked about being put into his kitty sweater and Harold has sulked about being bitten, they speak to each other again. Chester has decided to take matters into his own hands.
That night, Harold hears strange noises and smells something funny coming from downstairs. The smell is so strong, Harold has to investigate, and he finds Chester with a stinky thing around his neck, it’s garlic. Not only that, but Chester has put garlic all over the living room. Chester has been using The Mark of the Vampire as a literal how-to guide. Come morning, while no vegetables are sucked dry, Mrs. Monroe washes Chester in the sink because he’s so stinky. Chester needs to find a less stinky but effective plan.
Later, a passing comment from Mrs. Monroe gives Chester an idea and he enlists Harold to help him. Chester orders Harold to get Bunnicula out of his cage, and after a bit of a finagling, Harold is able. In the meantime, Chester has collected the steak the Monroes were planning for their dinner and places it on Bunnicula approximately where his heart is. Chester then pounds down on the steak. This goes on until Mr. and Mrs. Monroe come in a few moments later. They try to catch Chester but he runs off to the water bowl, brings the water bowl back into the living room and, with very bad aim, throws it, hitting Harold not Bunnicula. For his antics, the Monroe’s put Chester outside for the night.
For the next few days, Chester acts like the cat he is and not the vampire hunter he was trying to be. Harold knows he’s up to something, but Chester hasn’t spoken to him since the steak incident. In the meantime, Harold has been stopping by Bunnicula’s cage for chats and starts to see the rabbit as his friend. On this particular visit, Bunnicula’s ears are droopy and he’s tired and listless. Clearly, Bunnicula is sick. Harold will have to investigate.
That night, Harold goes into the living room to check on Bunnicula only to find a garlic-wearing Chester standing, arms outstretched, in front of Bunnicula. Chester is starving Bunnicula! Harold doesn't understand why Chester is so intensely against Bunnicula draining veggies of their juices. Leaving it for the night, Harold is determined to sort things out the following day and make sure Bunnicula eats.
All day Harold thinks until it hits him. Chester keeps taking Bunnicula’s food away, but what if Harold takes Bunnicula to his food? It just so happens that sitting on the table is a great big bowl of salad. Perfect! Making sure the coast is clear, Harold gets Bunnicula out of his cage and carries him to the salad bowl. As the night falls, Bunnicula wakes up and finds himself in Harold’s mouth being carried then being carefully placed on the dining table next to the salad bowl. Chester comes running in as Bunnicula is hopping toward the salad, and with a giant leap, the cat sends the salad bowl flying. Chester is spitting mad and ready to attack the bunny but before he can, the Monroes come running in.
Toby picks up Bunnicula and realizes he looks unwell so the family decides they’re going to take everyone to the vet for a checkup the following day. Now though, Chester is going to have a quick bath to get the salad dressing off his fur.
The next day, everyone goes to the vet who discovers Bunnicula is extremely hungry (Harold could have told them that), but because of his fragile stomach, he will need to be on a liquid diet for a while. Chester is diagnosed with being emotionally overwrought and has since started cat therapy, and Harold is up to date on his shots so he doesn't have to get any this time. The visit to the vet was not as bad as it could have been.
Because that liquid diet of carrot juice works so well, the Monroes decide to leave Bunnicula on it and let him enjoy his vegetable juice. After that, the veggies never turn white again. Everything in the Monroe household is back to normal, or as it can be with a vampire bunny.