That sounds like the start of a joke, doesn't it?
In this episode of the show, we talk about a hot Russian honking the bosoms of a sassy badass! Can you guess which book it is? Vampire Academy, obviously!! It was the hot Russian and the sassy badass that got you, right? The bosom-honking didn't happen in the text, but you know it happened in real life, especially with Rose's descriptions of herself.
Do you know this book? It's about two teenage girls, though they're not regular girls. One is a dhampir, a half-vampire, and one is a Moroi, a living vampire. The Moroi, Lissa, is a princess in the world of the vampires and the dhampir, Rose, is her guardian. Or... she hopes to be her guardian. They'll have to finish high school first. The book opens with them having run away from St. Vladimir's Academy. They've been on the run for two years when they're caught by a group of guardians from the school, led by Dimitri, the hot Russian. Lissa is the only person left in her family's royal line, so it's important that she be at the Academy and safe from the Strigoi, the evil, undead vampires. They might not be the only ones after her though... When they get back to school, they have to get through the normal, every day high school struggles but also the Moroi and dhampir struggles. The normal, every day stuff is bad because there are lots of rumors about why they left and how Lissa fed while they were away, she is a vampire, remember? More rumors start when they get back, too, about Rose being a blood whore and fooling around with a lot of different people. On top of that, Lissa has to deal with being a popular royal who hasn't specialized in a form of magic yet like all the rest of the senior class of Moroi, and Rose has to deal with getting back into her guardian training. She's woefully behind, but luckily she's forced to train with Dimitri before and after class, so she catches up quickly. There's something else going on at St. Vladimir's, too, but I don't want to spoil that for you. You can be spoiled by listening to the episode!
Or by watching the movie! The movie, while it bombed at the box office, is actually a true representation of the book. Really, it's almost exactly the same, which is refreshing in a YA book-to-movie adaptation. It's a shame that it did so poorly because this is a series of six books with another six book spin-off. It really could have done well. I guess it just wasn't the right time, but now we'll never know because it was staked like a Strigoi.
Here's our recording picture this week.
You're really missing out if you're not a Patreon Bonus! Tier member. Really. This video and last week's bonus episode video are PURE GOLD, but the only way you'll get to watch them is if you join the Bonus! tier. You should do that. Go ahead, I'll wait...