Meat Cute

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Meat Cute by Gail Carriger

April 1872, the year before Soulless begins.

An older lady and her footman walk companionably down a dark alley. The footman has mahogany brown skin and looks to be about 18 and is a werewolf. The woman has graying hair tucked under a cap, a dress five years out of fashion and a wicker chicken. Inside the wicker chicken are two hedgehogs. The lady and the footman discuss their plans for the evening, or perhaps schemes would be the better word. They have been sent by their employer to take care of something, but the woman, who looks to be someone's spinster aunt, has a match she’d like to arrange and therefore will be, as she puts it, disturbing two werewolves with one soulless.

Alexia Tarabotti is lingering at the punchbowl of a party, gloveless, in a dress that is too bright and colorful for her tastes. She watches her sisters in much more modish dresses with bows and rosettes across the party, vapidly getting along with everyone. Alexia would rather be sipping brandy and playing cards with the gentlemen, or, she thinks she would as she's never done that before. She just doesn't fit in well anywhere. Mrs. Loontwill, her mother, comes up then, chastising her daughter for having removed her gloves. There are rumors that there will be werewolves in attendance and we can't have Alexia touching any of them, what with her condition and all.

It is then that the werewolves arrive. While everyone else in attendance fawns and titters over the appearance of the wolves, Alexia glares. The smallest of the wolves catches her eye and smiles, causing the largest of the wolves to look her way as well. After a few moments, a man that once courted one of Alexia’s sisters introduces the small werewolf, Professor Lyall, to Alexia, at what seems to be the prodding of someone's spinster aunt. Professor Lyall knows about Alexia being preternatural as he's been in London for quite some time and is pleased to meet a female preternatural since they are so rare. Soon enough, the largest of the wolves comes over and Professor Lyall introduces him as Lord Conall Maccon, the Earl of Woolsey. He comments on Alexia's larger size and exotic name which she finds off-putting. Luckily, her mother and sisters arrive then to be introduced to the Earl, allowing Alexia to escape.

Alexia makes her way to the conservatory, hoping for a library but finding none, and is soon approached by a dark-skinned footman who delivers her shawl, insisting that she implied to a chaperone that she wanted to go for a walk. Alexia did no such thing of course, but she takes her shawl and heads outside, glad to be away from the party. She comes across a hedgehog ambling around and follows it to the middle of a werewolf fight! Alexia, who quite likes hedgehogs and is worried that the hedgehog would be trampled, heads straight into the middle of the fight, touching the larger wolf and causing him to transform immediately back into his human form, which is of course the now naked Lord Maccon. Alexia tries to explain the hedgehog, which Lord Maccon would not want to have injured because he likes hedgehogs, too, but the whole situation is very awkward on account of the nakedness. All the men in the fighting circle are shocked at how quickly Alexia's abilities transformed their alpha from wolf to human. Professor Lyall insists that his alpha put clothes on and the fight, that seems to be about adding a new wolf, Riehard, to the pack is finished.

Alexia leaves the fight after being told that it seems she wanted to test her preternatural skills on an alpha, which is not at all correct, she just wanted to save the hedgehog! She finds herself in the middle of a garden maze where she encounters the hedgehog again. Sitting on a bench, she puts her hand out for the little creature who climbs right up. Then Lord Maccon comes out of the bushes. He apologizes for his insinuations that she just wanted to test out her skills when he sees that she has a hedgehog in her hands. She sets it down on the bench, but Lord Maccon seems not to have noticed, for he tries to sit in the same spot, causing Alexia to prod him in the backside, making him fall on the ground. It seems Lord Maccon has it out for this hedgehog! After clearing everything up and explaining why she did what she did and why she was where she was, Alexia leaves the garden, with Lord Maccon calling after her not to let the bedbugs or hedgehogs bite.

The footman and the chaperone meet back up after the party, their jobs completed for the evening. The chaperone removes her ugly dress, the powder graying her hair and the soot from beneath her eyes, returning her to the younger woman that she actually is, though she still looks much older than the footman, who, as a werewolf, has stopped aging. They are pleased with their exploits for the evening, getting their companion Riehard inducted into the Woolsey pack and introducing Alexia and Lord Maccon. The wolf questions why Lord Maccon and not Professor Lyall, but the woman insists that Professor Lyall will never have anything but fatherly affection for Alexia. She also mentions Alexia being able to repair the Sidheag connection, which broke Lord Maccon’s heart many years ago. The wolf calls the woman, Sophronia, a romantic, and she tells him that sometimes they of the shadows must also bring light.